Masticate_Defecate_Copulate_Procreate

The life of a composting worm is sounding pretty darn good to me right now.  No worries about getting up every day and working to provide yourself the basic necessities of life:

  • Food-You’re given a daily feast, a smorgasbord that you can partake of as often as you like and a much as you like.  So what if you gain a few pounds.  Nobody’s going to say anything. 
  • Shelter-Some nice person brought you into their home and provides you with your own private wing on their estate complete with furniture and bedding.  And best of all, it’s rent free.
  • Companionship-You’ve got hundreds of potential mates to choose from…all day…every day…any time of the day. 
  • Preservation of the species-With all that “companionship” going on, the population doubles every few months, and that’s considered a good thing.

And it’s even okay to leave your sh_t all over the place…somebody’s going to come along and gladly clean it up for you.  They’ll appreciate your contribution to their organic garden.

Sounds like a perfect world…unless, of course, you end up in the home of a fisherman/woman.

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6 Comments

  1. engineeredgarden said,

    January 21, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    Cheryl – that was a very funny post! I never thought about worms that way…..Speaking of worms, I turned my piles last weekend, and the worms were everywhere! That’s great! Hope they don’t mind riding in a boat. 🙂 EG

  2. January 21, 2009 at 4:39 pm

    At first I thought I’d accidentally clicked on a porn site, but after reading it I came to the conclusion I’d like to move into your house. Except I’m not into that last subject any more…I already procreated five times!

    Granny

  3. engineeredgarden said,

    January 21, 2009 at 8:26 pm

    OMG, That granny is a stinker! Ha!

    EG

  4. gardengoodies said,

    January 22, 2009 at 1:20 am

    EG-I guess I have a unique mind. All kinds of…um…interesting thoughts go through it.

    My pile of leaves is under a foot of snow right now. I hope the worms find their way over there by the time the temps go up. I threw a plastic tarp over the pile and then put a storm window on top of that thinking that the sun beaming down on the glass would keep things a little warmer. It worked for a while. For the first couple of snow falls we had there would be a melted circle in the middle of the storm window. But not now. Nothing but white snow everywhere. It’s depressing.

    And I’m sure the little wormies would love a boat ride…right up until you invite them to go swimming.

    Grannie-Porn? Me? Un-un, no way…just a quirky sense of humor. And you’re welcome to move in. You just have to promise not to run my cell phone bill up like my child who shall remain nameless did…for the second time in less than six months.

  5. January 22, 2009 at 12:08 pm

    Cheryl, I sympathize with you about the cell phone bill. We have a family plan that includes four adults and one teenager….by mid month we are all trying to curb our calling because we know the child has used up all the minutes. Our new president needs to pass a “Parent Protection” bill that would prohibit cell phone companies from charging for the extra minutes used by teenage children. Like that would ever happen 😉

    I found a worm in my little salad garden! I didn’t know earthworms lived in Arizona desert sand.

    Granny

  6. gardengoodies said,

    January 22, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    What’s so bad is that we get free incoming minutes, and I tell that kid to just have people call him back and talk as long as he likes. Last time they reduced the bill by a third, but this time I don’t even have the nerve to ask them to reduce the bill. I don’t think the cell phone companies would go for the Parent Protection bill…they’d probably lose half their profits.

    Better watch out…you’re catching the worm fever.


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